A Message from Justin Vivian Bond--Share it.

An Open Letter to Heterosexual Americans:

An Open Letter to Heterosexual Americans: 

On Sunday, September 18, 2011, Jamey Rodemeyer took his own life at the age of fourteen. Earlier this year he had participated in the It Gets Better Project, but just a week before the suicide, he wrote “I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me?” It didn’t get better for Jamey, and he’s not alone. While the focus of many anti-bullying campaigns has been to empower LGBTQ youth and create community around them, I think it’s time for ALL Americans to make it better.

In my early teens, much before I became comfortable with my gender and sexual identity, I found myself being bullied. Because I was young, confused, and vulnerable, I found it very difficult to defend myself, so I know the important role courageous peers and responsible adults play when facing down bullies. When we are reminded of the vicious behavior of some children toward those considered different, we “different” adults see it as our responsibility to respond with education, therapy, hotlines, and activism. But what is needed to create real change is real action on the part of our heterosexual citizenry. After all, these are your children who are driving other kids to suicide. Where are they learning that it’s “okay to hate”? In part, young people are learning that it's "okay to hate" by pushing boundaries and getting away with it. Isn't that what young people do —test boundaries? Why are they forbidden to chew gum in class yet they are allowed to torture their LGBTQ classmates? We've come to an understanding that smoking should not be allowed and have given teachers the moral authority to stop it; we’ve made it illegal to sell cigarettes to minors because we recognize that it’s harmful to their health. But the number of deaths from LGBTQ bullying is mounting. When will the deaths of these children be recognized as an imperative to make change now?

Parents and educators are allowed, even forced sometimes, to be passive in the face of shameful and outrageous behavior on the part of their charges because they have had their own hands tied by legislators and a "moral" minority who claim to represent "our” values. But remember, the civil rights movement would not have been nearly as effective if white people hadn’t joined with African Americans to create the necessary changes to end institutionalized racism. It should not only be the responsibility of the LGBTQ community to protect certain youth. It is time for YOU to stand up for and be accountable to all America's children. Not only LGBTQ children, but all the children who are forced to live in a world of unnecessary cruelty and also—maybe even more importantly— to the bullies who are being allowed to destroy their own chances at happiness by passive adult bystanders. It is time for all Americans to come together and end homophobic and transphobic language, and to take action to protect the childhoods of ALL of our children, not just some.

Yours truly, 

Justin Vivian Bond 

author of Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels

http://justinbond.com/?p=744

Zoie Palmer ftw

Have I posted yet about how much I love Lost Girl?


No?

Or how much I love all of the actors in it?

Really, I haven't?

Forgive me. That post will come. I have nothing but love for this awesome TV show. (And a little resentment at the show's hiatus until October 23rd--how will I last that long without my weekly dose of Kenzi's one-liners, mythological creatures, and Bo/Lauren drama?)

kenzithezombie:

 

But I can deal with the gap between episodes because of Zoie Palmer (Lauren)'s hilarious quips--this one in particular. It's from the Syfy Press Tour (presumably one reason for the hiatus), two days ago:

Zoie Palmer, you rock. 

Can't wait until the next episode!

The Playboy Club cancelled??

What?? Nooo!!!

. . .and just as I was preparing a post on it, too. . .

I can't believe they already cancelled it, after only three episodes! 

Ouch.

So much for looking forward to a season's worth of gay history (via Alice and the Mattachine Society). And scenes like this:

Damn, Alice, do we ever know how you feel.

I'll miss being able to see the gorgeous Amber Heard on my TV screen every week. And to have the possibility snatched away, just as I was starting to get used to the idea. 

Psshhh, stupid TV execs. I flip my hair in your general direction.

Want a second opinion on why it was cancelled?
See what Autostraddle had to say about it.

A Song on Sunday: "Les Femmes"-Yelle

"Les Femmes" - Yelle

Lyrics, translated into English by yours truly:

Women

She looks at me
And I'm under her charm like suddenly
I’m not a woman anymore.
It's a nice sensation.
I feel like I’m a schoolgirl in front of a boy.
And in my heart and in my body

Everything agrees to tell me

I'm touching where
I will never venture

Like a forbidden feeling.

Chorus:

If boys won’t open their hearts to me
I think I’ll go look somewhere else
Where everything is beautiful and full of sweetness
Women.
I feel my body fill with happiness
And my heart smile through a sea of tears
I dance but I still hesitate…
From tears.

"Stop!"
People whisper like I’m going in the wrong direction
But my pleasure doesn’t care about what they say

I let my senses, my emotions free.
This soft skin absolutely perfect
This sweet, fruity scent
I arrive in the land of the Care Bears
Quietly lying on a cloud of foam.
She tells me, “Come, we’ll take a ride
On this rainbow toboggan

That is love.
We will eat vanilla ice cream.
But first I’d like to be sure that you like only girls.”

Chorus x2:
If boys won’t open their hearts to me
I think I’ll go look somewhere else
Where everything is beautiful and full of sweetness:
Women.
I feel my body fill with happiness
And my heart smile through a sea of tears
I dance but I still hesitate…
From tears.

And, the original French lyrics:

Les Femmes

Elle me regarde
Et je suis sous le charme comme ci tous à coup
Je n'etais plus une femme
c'est agreable comme sensation.
J'ai l'impression d'être au college devant un garcon .
Et dans mon coeur et dans mon corps
tous le monde a l'aire d'accord pour me dire
que je suis toucher là où
jamais je ne me serai aventurer comme un sens interdit .

Refrain :
Si les garcons ne m'ouvrent pas leur coeur
Je sens que je vais aller voir ailleur

Là où tout est beau et pleins de douceur
Les femmes .
Je sens mon corps se remplir de bonheur
Et mon coeur sourire noyè par les pleurs
Je danse mais j'hesite encore
Des larmes

" Stop! "
Me souffle t- on comme si c'etait une fausse direction .
Mon plaisir se moque de tes equations
Je laisse aller mes sens , mes emotions
Cette peau douce absolument parfaite
Cette odeur fruitè et sucrèmentete
J'arrive au pays des bisounours
Tranquillement allongè sur un nuage de mousse.
Elle me dit comme ca viens on va faire un tour
Sur ce tobogant arc-en-ciel

c'est celui de l'amour
On ira manger une glace à la vanille .
Mais d'abord j'aimerais être sur que tu n'aimes que les filles .

Refrain x2 :
Si les garçons ne m'ouvrent pas leur coeur
Je sens que je vais aller voir ailleur 
Là où tout est beau et pleins de douceur
Les femmes .
Je sens mon corps se remplir de bonheur 
Et mon coeur sourire noyè par les pleurs 
Je danse mais j'hesite encore
Des larmes .

Words of Wisdom

from Dorothy Snarker, in response to the ridiculous discriminatory actions of Southwest Airlines towards lesbian actress Leisha Hailey a few days ago:

What is most frustrating about this, besides the obvious inequality and homophobia, is that every gay person already has an internal monitor that she or he uses to regulate public behavior. It’s mostly subconscious, often just instinctual. But it has been ingrained in us from the moment we realized we were different. I call it the “Is It Worth It?” Meter. It’s that meter tells us how fully we can be ourselves and when it is worth the consequences. For the most part, the answer is always yes. Yes, it’s worth it to be out. Yes, it’s worth it to be public. Yes, it’s worth it to hold your girlfriend’s hand at the movie theater.

But then there are times when it simply is not worth it. No, it’s not worth it to tell the douchey coffee guy who always tries to hit on you because it will only make him hit on you harder, and with more lesbian jokes. No, it’s not worth it to keep holding your girlfriend’s hand when you’re walking home late at night and nearing a large group of unruly men.

So for every person out there who persists on thinking we’re just shoving our big gay agenda into their faces, trust me – we’ve thought about the consequences of what we’re doing a lot more than you ever have. And we do what we do because we’ve decided that it’s worth it – despite all the bullshit – to be who we are. Because to self-censor ourselves for other people’s so-called comfort isn’t doing the world any favors. In fact, it hurts the world to let this double standard exist that says one kind of love is more acceptable than another kind of love. We think long and hard and endlessly about many of the simple gestures that straight people just take for granted.

Take this to heart, non-queers. This is something that most straight people never realize--one of the many parts of "straight privelege". We have to analyze our surroundings every time we want to act on any sort of non-hetero-normative feeling of affection; if we don't pay close attention to where we are, who we're with, who's around us, we could put ourselves in great danger just by doing something as innocent as holding hands.

I mean seriously. . .do non-allies think we WANT that mob of straight, cis-male construction workers to be leering at us? Do they think we want that attention?

Just look at this headline for an article:

Was it all a stunt? Lesbian actress denies claims she was thrown off flight for kissing girlfriend just to publicise her tour

. . .

Did you just facepalm? I know I did.
How could anyone even make that conjecture? Lesbians showing their affection for one another are not doing so to entertain. We are not performing. Kissing in public is not a demand for attention. That is the stuff of sweeps-week kisses, not the stuff of real life.
The fact that so many people still believe things like this just means that we need to keep chiseling away at their prejudice, one day at a time. (As if we need to be told that).

Kudos to Leisha Hailey and her girlfriend for doing just that:

 

“We believe everyone has the right to live openly in this society as equals,” the couple says in a statement released Tuesday. “In no way were our actions on Southwest Airlines excessive, inappropriate or vulgar. We want to make it clear we were not making out or creating any kind of spectacle of ourselves, it was one, modest kiss.”

“We are responsible adult women who walk through the world with dignity,” the statement continues. “We were simply being affectionate like any normal couple.”

"Everyone has the right to live openly in this society as equals,” hmm? 
Sounds pretty good to me.

No More Procrastinating!

Look at the first post on this website. Do you see when I posted it? Do you?


A LONG TIME AGO.

Like when dinosaurs ruled the Earth. 

Time flies when you're having fun. We all know that.
But it also flies when you're supposed to be doing something and you're not. 

I believe I can fly!

This, my friends, is called procrastination. And I am a master of it. That lovely cycle portrayed in one of Hyperbole and a Half's best posts? The cycle of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad lack of productivity? It's pretty accurate. Just look at this fabulous diagram:

That is what I have been doing about this blog since I first created it those many moons ago. So many things I wanted to post, so much shame about not posting anything before, so little actually accomplished! 


But not anymore.


Today, I break the cycle.


In the immortal words of the Black Eyed Peas,
"Let's get it started!"

"He is More than a Hero" --Sappho

He is more than a hero he is a god in my eyes-- the man who is allowed to sit beside you -- he who listens intimately to the sweet murmur of your voice, the enticing laughter that makes my own heart beat fast. If I meet you suddenly, I can't speak -- my tongue is broken; a thin flame runs under my skin; seeing nothing, hearing only my own ears drumming, I drip with sweat; trembling shakes my body and I turn paler than dry grass. At such times death isn't far from me  (translated by Mary Barnard)